What is the Joes point of view on Fanfiction?
by snakesandscarlettforever
Summary: G.I. Joe has discovered the world of fan fiction...what do THEY think about it?


General Hawk took his seat at the end of the table in the briefing room. He remained quiet as he leaned onto the desk, folding his hands. His deep brown eyes wandered down one side of the table and around the other at everyone seated there, all eyes turned towards him. He cleared his throat, his voice grave.

"Gentlemen. We have a matter of great importance that we need to discus. Beach Head, if you will,"

He nodded towards the drill sergeant. He nodded as he stood, opening a folder that had a lot of papers in it.

"Thank you, General."

He took the stack of papers out, turned towards the gathered members of the G.I. Joe team.

"Myself, Hi-Tech and Breaker have been doing some research as to what so called "fans" of our unit have been saying about it. So far, the results are...how shall I say? _Disturbing?__"_

He cleared his throat, holding several sheets of paper that had been stapled together out in front of him so that he could read it.

"For example: several of us men have been made into immoral characters, flirting with the women at every chance and making improper comments along with disgusting behavior. The women are doing the same, sometimes worse. We are officially known as a very immoral unit with no behavior restrictions what so ever. It seems that all these fans care about is pairing us up with various members—going as far as to make them the same gender as times—and making us look bad. I have gathered several "fan fiction" stories regarding each of us."

He distributed the papers to each member, watching as their eyes went wide and their mouths dropped open. Tunnel Rat slammed the table. Hard.

"How did we get dat kinda reputation?! I want answehs! Hey, I may be crazy, but I ain't no drunk!"

Jinx's voice was high-pitched with shock.

"WHAT?! I would NEVER do that!!"

Snake Eyes shoved his paper across the table in disgust, an angry look clearly seen under the mask.

Scarlett ran a hand through her fiery red hair.

"This is crazy. I'm not that kind of person!"

Shipwreck tore his in half.

"Hey! I may be a little nuts, but I don't flirt like THAT!"

Kamakura growled.

"Disgusting...what kind of people do they think we are anyway?!"

Hawk held up his hands.

"Alright everyone just calm down. There's worse out there. We chose the mild stuff."

An angry rumble ran through the gathered Joes.

Lady Jay stood.

"If this is the kind of stuff that's out there...what _have _we done to make these people think this way? Of course, we are not perfect, but we do NOT do this kind of stuff."

Flint agreed, his voice angry.

"What do we do about it, General? This can not go on.......they're ruining us."

Hawk sat back in his chair, sighing.

"Well, for one thing, let's keep in mind that it's not all bad. There's some good stuff out there, too."

Beach Head couldn't help but smile as he began to read.

"I have a teddy bear known as Sgt. Snuffles. Snakes baked cookies while singing Weird Al—"

He was interrupted by a muffled giggle. Snakes turned from his spot to glare at Scarlett, who had clamped a hand over her mouth.

"...sorry..."

The drill sergeant continued, still smiling.

"Jinx married Kamakura...I saw that blush, ninja. Bazooka blew up the shower. And of course there's some fairly decent romantic stories out there that keep within moral boundaries. Like Hawk said, it's not all bad, but a good deal is. And we need to find someway to stop it."

Heavy Duty raised a huge hand.

"An' how do you suppose we do that? Get Hi-Tech to hack the sites and bring them down?"

Jinx tossed her paper across the table irritably.

"But even if we did do that, it would not stop them from writing it and making fools out of us. There is no way that we could totally keep it under control."

Scarlett nodded.

"Yes, but if we can at least...um..."

She glanced nervously at the faced watching her.

"...um..._ask..._maybe some would listen?"

Her voice grew faint and she cringed as everyone stared. Snake Eyes made a sudden move with his hands, causing everyone to jump.

_It is an idea. We can not stop them, but we can ask them. I am with Scarlett, all you others can go jump in a lake, for all I care. If it means sitting down and writing a letter—shoot—I'll do it, just to ask if some of these people will stop making us perverts, then I say we give it a go._

There was a silence. A LONG silence. A VERY long silence. Everyone was thinking on this. Hard. Hawk looked the crowd over, an inquiring look in his gaze.

"Well...um...what does the team think?"

Beach Head threw the papers onto the table.

"I'm with Snakes and Red. I say we give it a shot. If nothin' else works...well..."

Heavy Duty leaned forward, a smile playing around his lips.

"I'm in. Let's give it a go."

One by one, they all agreed. Hawk stood.

"Very well. I'll write it up now—"

Scarlett interrupted, raising a hand quickly.

"Wait a minute. I think we should take a vote on who should write the letter. What do you say to that, General?"

Hawk raised an eyebrow.

"Fine with me. Scarlett, since you brought the matter up, we'll let you get the first votes."

Scarlett shook her head, smiling.

"No. Not me."

Hawk cocked his head.

"Then who?"

The beautiful redhead grinned, laying a hand on a certain black-clad shoulder.

"Him..."

There was a roar of laughter as Snakes jumped back, a shocked look clearly seen under his mask. He swallowed hard, pointing to himself.

_M—me? Are you joking?!_

Everyone started to shout "Yes!". He backed to the door.

_Er, got to go. Stuff to do._

Beach Head grabbed him by his belt and shirt, shoving him back towards the table.

"Oh no you don't! You're the one that agreed with Scarlett first, AND said you would write it."

Hawk smiled, taking out a pen and paper from his desk.

"You're up, Snakes. They've got you pinned. You might as well."

He offered the pen to the ninja. Snakes scowled, taking it grudgingly. There were a few giggles as he sat down, leaning over the note pad. He looked up, glaring at them.

_Come on, guys...I'm nervous enough._

Scarlett felt sorry for him, trying hard not to laugh as he sat bent over the pad of paper, visibly nervous as the crowd of Joes looked over his shoulders.

"General, could we go somewhere quiet so he can write it better? He tends to get a little...shaky."

Hawk tried hard not to laugh.

"Sure, why not? Snakes, have that back here before ten."

Snake Eyes stood immediately, and only Scarlett saw him mouth the words "thank you". He took up the pad and pen, nodding.

_Oh don't worry, I'll have it back alright._

Two hours later, Scarlett knocked on his quarters, waiting for an answer. There was a silence, and then a muted knock in reply. She smiled; his way of saying come in. Opening the door, she could only stop short and gape at the mess around the room. There was wads of papers scattered all across the floor, and more than a dozen pens laying around. She raised an eyebrow, closing the door.

"What on earth? Come on, Snakes, it's not THAT hard to write a letter."

Snake Eyes, who sat at his desk, cocked his head over his shoulder, giving her a dull stare.

_Well it is if you're writing to millions of fans and trying hard not to offend them...especially if they made you "gay" and a total immoral person who doesn't care what he does at all!_

He stood, thrusting the notepad out to her. She took it, smiling as her eyes scanned over it.

"Hey! You finished! It looks great, Snakes."

He rubbed the back of his neck, cracking it.

_I guess. What time is it?_

Scarlett glanced down at her watch.

"Well, that is what I came to tell you. It's five after."

The ninja turned abruptly, staring.

_WHAT?! Oh goodgrief I'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdead!_

He ran to his bed and grabbed up his steel-toed boots, lacing them quickly.

_Why didn't you get me sooner?!_

The redhead tried not to laugh as he rushed around the room grabbing his stuff.

"Don't sweat it, Snakes. I got busy, too."

He ran to his desk, switching off the light and grabbing up his watch as he strapped it around his wrist.

_Come on lets go before we're executed._

He grabbed her by the arm, leading her towards the door. The two exited the room, running down the hall.

They came bursting into the briefing room, stopping short as everyone turned to stare. Yup. They were late. Everyone else was already there, Hawk at the head of the table, tapping it with this fingers.

Snake Eyes and Scarlett quickly regained their composure, closing the doors quietly and walking silently to their seats. Hawk sat expressionless.

"Well?"

Snake Eyes bit his lower lip, leaning out from his seat to hand his General the paper. Hawk took it, looking it over. He blinked a few times. Holding up the notepad, he looked at the ninja commando.

"Um...Snakes...is this _your _handwriting?"

Snake Eyes swallowed hard, nodding once. He chanced a glance at Scarlett, who was doing all she could to keep from laughing. Hawk raised an eyebrow.

"Um....alright then. It looks very good. I think it will work."

Beach Head gave the ninja a smug smile, but was talking to the General.

"Will you read it out loud, sir?"

Snake Eyes let out a nervous, hardly audible sigh.

Hawk tried to hide a smile.

"Alright. Here's what it says:

**G.I. Joe fans-**

**I am writing on behalf of our team, and everyone in it. We appreciate your enthusiastic response to our unit and our cause, and we thank you for the letters of encouragement we have received in the past. **

**It has been brought to our attention that there are millions of fan fiction stories out there, and we enjoy reading a good deal of them, but we have also noticed that many of our fans tend to make us into characters that we are not. Some of the stories are very good, but some of them portray us as people with no morals or behavioral boundaries whatsoever. I want to inform you that this is not true. We are not perfect, but we are not immoral freaks. Some of the things that are written about us mirror a very bad image and reputation. I do not write this to offend, but to simply call to attention a very important matter. We are not the kind of people that some portray us as. In fact, we are very careful as to how we act and what kind of image we show to others (including our own members)-and somehow, several of you have gotten the wrong message. If there is any way at all that we can improve our actions or anything along those lines, we will be happy to hear your suggestions. Please keep in mind that we fight for good, not immorality and disgusting actions. **

**I ask on behalf of myself and the entire G.I. Joe Team that you are careful as to what you write, and are aware as to what message you are sending to others about us. **

**Once again, we appreciate all of you fans, and we read everything you send us. Please think carefully on what we are saying.**

**-On behalf of the G.I. Joe Team:**

**Snake Eyes **

Scarlett leaned over to the black-clad ninja, whispering in his ear.

"Great job. That sounded wonderful."

Hawk set the paper down.

"Well, Snakes, that's very good. You did an excellent job."

He looked over the crowd.

"What do all of you think?"

Everyone agreed heartily, congratulating the ninja. Only Snake Eyes knew that he blushed under his mask.

_Thanks._

Beach Head grinned.

"Oh, and you have _very _pretty handwriting..."

The ninja glared at him.

"Well it's true!"

Hawk laughed, standing.

"Alright, stop teasing him. He did a great job and I think that people will read it. I say we call it a night. Dismissed!"

One by one, everyone dispersed, Snake Eyes receiving several handshakes and back slaps.

Scarlett walked with Snake Eyes down the hall, making their way back to their different quarters. She smiled, taking his hand.

"That was really good, Snake Eyes. You did well."

He laughed silently, rolling his eyes under his mask.

_Goodgrief! How many times am I going to hear that before bed?_

Scarlett smiled, poking his shoulder playfully.

"You'll hear it lots more in the morning, so get used to it."

Snake Eyes smiled as well, signing with his left hand.

_Yeah, I can't believe that Breaker read the stupid thing out loud over the intercom!_

They stopped at Scarlett's quarters. The beautiful redhead looked up at him, cocking her head.

"What is behind that visor, Ian?"

Snake Eyes leaned against the wall, shrugging as a smile formed around his lips. Scarlett nudged him, grinning.

"Oh come on. You know that I like to see your eyes."

He sighed, cocking his head. There was a moment's silence, and then he removed the visor, his deep blue eyes looking like the ocean as dusk, with shades of gray in them. Scarlett smiled, sweeping aside the strands of blond hair that poked out from the edge of his mask around his eyes.

"You've always had such handsome eyes, Snakes."

She paused, looking up at him.

"And you're such a good man."

She hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around him.

"Let's not worry about what people say about you. I know what kind of man you are, and you know what kind of man you are. Everyone here knows. You are honorable and would do nothing to put others in danger, and care so much more about the people around you and their reputations than you do yourself. And you know what?"

She looked up at him, touching his face.

"That is why I love you."

Snake Eyes felt his heart overflow at these words. They were so simple, yet so sweet. He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead, not removing his mask to do so. Scarlett smiled, looking him in the eyes.

"Let me tell you something, Snakes. Anyone who writes that stuff about you is totally blind. They don't know who you are, and never will. Anyone who writes anything like that about any of us is sorely misled."

She sighed, running a hand through her fiery red hair.

"Maybe that letter will work. Hopefully. But hey, even if it doesn't...who cares? _We _know who we are, and that's what matters."

Snake Eyes smiled, slipping the visor back over his eyes. He took Scarlett's hand, squeezing it lightly.

_I love you, Shana. _

He gazed at her fondly, and then turned, releasing her hand as he walked down the hall. Only Scarlett saw his gloved hand move.

_I always will._

She smiled, watching him go. She was so glad that they had met, and they were indeed blessed to have such a friendship. She turned, unlocking her door. Giving the long, dark hallway one last glance, she whispered under her breath, a smile playing at her lips.

_I love you too, Ian. So very much._


End file.
